Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
