Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Randomize
