Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
