is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
He passed out mid-signature
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
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