I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
We were destined to go to rehab together
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
