I hope mine doesn't look like that
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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