I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
