Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
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