I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
