Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
