Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I just want nice things and good sex
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
