I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
