i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
