he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Randomize
