im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
