in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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