You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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