bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
