I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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