i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
