Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
