you guys were way drunker than both of me
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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