Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
