Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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