I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
