Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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