how can u be prego again
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
