I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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