then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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