Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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