I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
