Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
