bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
