Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
i want to swaddle you in tequila
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
