So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
