he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Randomize
