i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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