i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
