either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I don't deserve a penis
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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