I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
