Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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