Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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