I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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