hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
