she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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