I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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