it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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