i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
