The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
