We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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